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Thursday, April 28, 2005

"Yo Mr. Pope Guy"

Fair's fair. We'll give almost anybody a chance to get settled in to the new job and rearrange the furniture in the office. No problem. Take your time, stock up on snacks, maybe do some interviews.

People want to be nice. They want to be nice to their neighbors, to their friends and even to clerks at the grocery store. Most people don't go around picking fights or being nasty. OK, some do, but they're assholes. Most don't, so they try to be nice to others. It's the Golden Rule thing and it still works after all these years.

The old Pope died over a week ago now. He was kind-looking and anti-Communist and so a lot of people liked him. That's cool. But beneath the kindly face he lorded over a lot of folks and made their lives miserable.

While the old Pope, JPII, looked kindly, he told people dying of AIDS in Africa that they shouldn't use condoms. Doctors would say he was dishing out dangerous advice, even deadly advice. You should use condoms in Africa, in Panama, in Paris, and in Pittsburgh. It's a good idea. JPII was wrong.

Also if you happen to have a vagina, you better mind your place, and your place is not at the altar. The Church doesn't think women can be priests. In some other religions women ARE priests, no problem. It sounds a lot like sexist discrimination. So all you Catholic women out there, don't get any ideas in your heads about being priests, just bake some cookies and bring them to the next church social.

As for lesbians and gays, well, the Church thinks what you like to do in bed is "evil." That's the term both JPII and the new Pope uses. The whole phrase is “intrinsic moral "evil." That's the kind of talk you get from people who want to control what others do with their pee-pees. Maybe the new Pope could worry more about tsunami victims who need food and housing and clothes and forget about whose dick gets sucked in St. Louis, and by whom. Just a suggestion.


Let's not do any of the guys-in-dresses jokes, let's let the courts handle the abuse cases, let's not debate whether the Bible is literally true or not, and let's not nail the new guy because of the brief Hitler Youth gig. But let's do ask that this man be kind in the things he says and does. If you're a Pope, you're a religious celebrity. A kind of high-profile leader who can make things happen. If we are nice to our neighbors, you be nice to them, too. And many of our neighbors are women. Some are AIDS patients. Some are gays and lesbians. And all of them are human beings.

So yo Mr. Pope Guy. Summon your heart and mind and get to work.

- Messenger (New contributor to the blog)

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